Thursday, November 3, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The Dumb Truck Drivers
Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.
The personnel manager next interviews them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do ?
About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.
"I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do". The personnel manager says "yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Zek up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT ! "Why would you wake Zek up ?"
Coos, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"
The personnel manager next interviews them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do ?
About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.
"I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do". The personnel manager says "yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Zek up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT ! "Why would you wake Zek up ?"
Coos, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"
Sunday, May 15, 2011
IT Guys
Two IT guys were chatting in a pub after work. "Guess what, mate," says
the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous girl in a bar."
"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.
"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks and then she suddenly asked me to make her feel special"
"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
" then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop"
"Really? You got a new Laptop? What configuration?"
"It's a 4 GB DDR3 RAM and mobile internet connectivity card and
500GB HARDDISK!!"
“Does it have WiFi too?!”
“YeaH!! Its even got a NVIDIA Graphics Card.. .. 24x DVD-Writer.. .. bla bla bla……………….” :-D
the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous girl in a bar."
"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.
"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks and then she suddenly asked me to make her feel special"
"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
" then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop"
"Really? You got a new Laptop? What configuration?"
"It's a 4 GB DDR3 RAM and mobile internet connectivity card and
500GB HARDDISK!!"
“YeaH!! Its even got a NVIDIA Graphics Card.. .. 24x DVD-Writer.. .. bla bla bla……………….” :-D
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Think Different....... Interesting
1 Think Different....... Interesting
Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round.....
No one will GET second chance to impress....
Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...
Question 1:
What will you do if I run away with your sister?"
The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"
Question 2:
Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant Girl ?
- I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.
Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked
Question 3:
Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?
Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea" and got selected.
You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U -alphabet) Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet), Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"
Question 4:
Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"?
People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mithila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...
But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.
So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!
Question 5:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
-- An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
-- An old friend who once saved your life.
-- The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again...
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Question 6:
The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."
Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table.
Interviewer asked "how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table", then he answers quickly that "sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask"....
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.
This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....
"THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"
The Best job in life is.... finding your Own Answers !!
Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round.....
No one will GET second chance to impress....
Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...
Question 1:
What will you do if I run away with your sister?"
The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"
Question 2:
Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant Girl ?
- I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.
Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked
Question 3:
Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?
Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea" and got selected.
You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U -alphabet) Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet), Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"
Question 4:
Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"?
People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mithila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...
But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.
So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!
Question 5:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
-- An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
-- An old friend who once saved your life.
-- The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again...
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Question 6:
The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."
Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table.
Interviewer asked "how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table", then he answers quickly that "sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask"....
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.
This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....
"THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"
The Best job in life is.... finding your Own Answers !!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Nice one in Gujarati!!
શરીરવાળા ગુજરાતીઓ માટે કસરત એટલે જમ્યા પછી પાનના ગલ્લા સુધી ચાલતાં જવું તે. મોઢામાં પાન કે મસાલો દબાવી કલાકો સુધી વિષયવિહીન ચર્ચાઓ કરવામાં ગુજરાતીઓની માસ્ટરી છે. પાનના ગલ્લા અને ચાની કીટલીઓ એ ગુજરાતીઓ માટે વૈચારિક આદાન-પ્રદાન માટેના આદર્શ સ્થાનકો છે. સાચો સમાજવાદ આ બે જગ્યાઓએ જ જોવા મળે છે. અહીંયા ગાડી,સ્કૂટરવાળા સાથે જ મજૂર પણ ઊભો રહી ચા પીતો હોય છે. (આ વાત પર બે કટિંગ ચા થઈ જાય, હોં ભઈ!)
દરેક ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને તેમના સંતાનોને ડોક્ટર, એન્જિનિયર કે સી.એ. બનાવવામાં જ રસ હોય છે. સંતાનોની કરિયર મા-બાપ જ નક્કી કરે છે. કોઈ ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને એવું કહેતા સાંભળ્યા નથી કે 'મારે મારા દીકરાને કલાકાર બનાવવો છે, મારે મારી દીકરીને ચિત્રકાર બનાવવી છે,મારો દીકરો ફોજમાં જશે, મારી દીકરીને એથ્લિટ બનાવવી છે, મારા દીકરાને ફેલ્પ્સ જેવો તરવૈયો બનાવવો છે.' (નાટક-ચેટક, કવિતા, સાહિત્ય-લે
રૂપિયા કમાવા સિવાય બીજો કોઈ પણ શોખ ન ધરાવતા ગુજરાતીઓનો એક શોખ ખૂબ જાણીતો છે રજાઓમાં ફરવા જવાનો અને તે પણ સાથે ખૂબ બધા નાસ્તા લઈને. જ્યારે અને જ્યાં પણ ફરવા જઈએ ત્યારે ડબ્બાઓના ડબ્બા ભરીને સેવમમરા,ઢેબરાં,ગાં
ગુજરાતીઓના લેટેસ્ટ બે શોખ. એક - ટુ વ્હીલર અને બીજો - મોબાઈલ.જગતમાં સૌથી વધારે ટુ વ્હીલર ગુજરાતમાં ફરે છે. આપણું ચાલે એક રૂમમાંથી બીજા રૂમમાં જવા માટે પણ ટુ-વ્હીલર વાપરીએ. પહેલાના જમાનામાં એવું કહેવાતું તું કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ ઘી પીવું.' હવે એવું કહેવાય છે કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ બાઈક લેવું.'ગુજરાતીઓના 'દિલની સૌથી નજીક'જો કોઈ હોય તો તે છે મોબાઈલ (કેમકે આપણે મોબાઈલને હંમેશાં શર્ટના ઉપલાં ખિસ્સામાં જ રાખીએ છીએ.) જાત-જાતના મોબાઈલ, ભાતભાતની રિંગટોનનો આપણને જબરજસ્ત ક્રેઝ છે. મોબાઈલની સૌથી વધુ સ્કિમ આપણા ગુજરાતમાં જ છે અને તેનો સૌથી વધુ લાભ પણ ગુજરાતીઓ ઉઠાવે છે. જો સ્કિમમાં 'ફ્રી' લખ્યું તો તો 'ખ…લ્લા…સ'. રાત્રે દસથી સવારે છ, 'મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ ફ્રી' એવી સ્કિમ જાહેર થાય એટલે ગુજરાતીઓ મચી જ પડે.. બાજુ-બાજુમાં બેઠા હોય તો પણ મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ વાતો કરે ! (હે…લો…, અને જ્યારે બિલ આવે ત્યારે કંપનીવાળા જોડે સૌથી વધુ બબાલ પણ આપણે જ કરીએ છીએ, હોં ભઈ !)
ગુજરાતીઓની સ્વભાવગત ખાસિયત પણ અનોખી છે. આપણે એવર ઓપ્ટિમિસ્ટ એટલે કે સદાય આશાવાદી માણસો છીએ. શેરબજાર ક…ડ…ડ…ડ…ભૂ...સ…કરતું તૂટે તો પણ આપણે આશા રાખીએ છીએ કે 'કશો વાંધો નહીં, કાલે બજાર ઉપર આવી જ જશે.' આ સાથે આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ એટલા જ ખમીરવંતા પણ છીએ. ભૂકંપ આવે, પૂર આવે કે બોમ્બ બ્લાસ્ટ થાય, આપણે ત્યાં બીજા દિવસથી તો બધું રાબેતા મુજબ….
ગુજરાતીઓની એક સૌથી મોટી ખાસિયત, ખૂબી, વિશેષતા,વિલક્
દરેક ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને તેમના સંતાનોને ડોક્ટર, એન્જિનિયર કે સી.એ. બનાવવામાં જ રસ હોય છે. સંતાનોની કરિયર મા-બાપ જ નક્કી કરે છે. કોઈ ગુજરાતી મા-બાપને એવું કહેતા સાંભળ્યા નથી કે 'મારે મારા દીકરાને કલાકાર બનાવવો છે, મારે મારી દીકરીને ચિત્રકાર બનાવવી છે,મારો દીકરો ફોજમાં જશે, મારી દીકરીને એથ્લિટ બનાવવી છે, મારા દીકરાને ફેલ્પ્સ જેવો તરવૈયો બનાવવો છે.' (નાટક-ચેટક, કવિતા, સાહિત્ય-લે
રૂપિયા કમાવા સિવાય બીજો કોઈ પણ શોખ ન ધરાવતા ગુજરાતીઓનો એક શોખ ખૂબ જાણીતો છે રજાઓમાં ફરવા જવાનો અને તે પણ સાથે ખૂબ બધા નાસ્તા લઈને. જ્યારે અને જ્યાં પણ ફરવા જઈએ ત્યારે ડબ્બાઓના ડબ્બા ભરીને સેવમમરા,ઢેબરાં,ગાં
ગુજરાતીઓના લેટેસ્ટ બે શોખ. એક - ટુ વ્હીલર અને બીજો - મોબાઈલ.જગતમાં સૌથી વધારે ટુ વ્હીલર ગુજરાતમાં ફરે છે. આપણું ચાલે એક રૂમમાંથી બીજા રૂમમાં જવા માટે પણ ટુ-વ્હીલર વાપરીએ. પહેલાના જમાનામાં એવું કહેવાતું તું કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ ઘી પીવું.' હવે એવું કહેવાય છે કે 'દેવું કરીને પણ બાઈક લેવું.'ગુજરાતીઓના 'દિલની સૌથી નજીક'જો કોઈ હોય તો તે છે મોબાઈલ (કેમકે આપણે મોબાઈલને હંમેશાં શર્ટના ઉપલાં ખિસ્સામાં જ રાખીએ છીએ.) જાત-જાતના મોબાઈલ, ભાતભાતની રિંગટોનનો આપણને જબરજસ્ત ક્રેઝ છે. મોબાઈલની સૌથી વધુ સ્કિમ આપણા ગુજરાતમાં જ છે અને તેનો સૌથી વધુ લાભ પણ ગુજરાતીઓ ઉઠાવે છે. જો સ્કિમમાં 'ફ્રી' લખ્યું તો તો 'ખ…લ્લા…સ'. રાત્રે દસથી સવારે છ, 'મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ ફ્રી' એવી સ્કિમ જાહેર થાય એટલે ગુજરાતીઓ મચી જ પડે.. બાજુ-બાજુમાં બેઠા હોય તો પણ મોબાઈલથી મોબાઈલ વાતો કરે ! (હે…લો…, અને જ્યારે બિલ આવે ત્યારે કંપનીવાળા જોડે સૌથી વધુ બબાલ પણ આપણે જ કરીએ છીએ, હોં ભઈ !)
ગુજરાતીઓની સ્વભાવગત ખાસિયત પણ અનોખી છે. આપણે એવર ઓપ્ટિમિસ્ટ એટલે કે સદાય આશાવાદી માણસો છીએ. શેરબજાર ક…ડ…ડ…ડ…ભૂ...સ…કરતું તૂટે તો પણ આપણે આશા રાખીએ છીએ કે 'કશો વાંધો નહીં, કાલે બજાર ઉપર આવી જ જશે.' આ સાથે આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ એટલા જ ખમીરવંતા પણ છીએ. ભૂકંપ આવે, પૂર આવે કે બોમ્બ બ્લાસ્ટ થાય, આપણે ત્યાં બીજા દિવસથી તો બધું રાબેતા મુજબ….
ગુજરાતીઓની એક સૌથી મોટી ખાસિયત, ખૂબી, વિશેષતા,વિલક્
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